Family Mediation Case Studies
Below are some mediation case studies to highlight some of the many benefits that mediation can provide to disputes.
If you are looking for specific information on mediation, or if you are not sure whether mediation is for you, then why not contact us on 0797 239 7762.
Children: Daisy's Cows
We all know how problems can escalate when people don't communicate. A huge advantage of mediation is that when people who previously felt unable to communicate, or unable to communicate about a particular issue, are together at the same time, in the same room, with either one or two independent mediators, the obstructions to communication can vanish.
A little 2 year old girl loves animals, particularly cows. She loves her dad too, and what she really likes best is Saturday mornings, when her dad takes her to the farm to look at the cows. She had to wait nearly her whole life before her dad took her to look at the cows, because her mum and dad would not communicate.
Her Mum and Dad were boyfriend and girlfriend and lived with their respective families. The girlfriend became pregnant and really wanted her mother and boyfriend to attend a pre-natal scan. Her boyfriend was thrilled, but his mother insisted on attending the scan too. She didn't really know her boyfriend’s mother and didn't feel comfortable with this. He said that it wasn't fair for her own mother to attend, if his mother couldn't. She felt let down that, as she saw it, he was taking his mother's side, and there was a row. In the end, neither the boyfriend nor his mother attended the scan. The girlfriend felt so excluded and unloved by her boyfriend, that she ended the relationship.
When the girlfriend was admitted to hospital to have the little girl, she let her ex-partner know by sending him a text message. A few days later, when he was in town, one of her relatives shouted across the street to him:
"Can't even be bothered to go and see your kid can you?"
The little girl’s father had found out from the relative that his little girl had been born two days before.
"I got straight on the bus to the hospital; I couldn't wait to see her, I was so excited!" he told us.
When he arrived at the hospital he was told that he could not see his ex or the baby. He was desperate, but did not know what to do. Eventually, months later, a friend suggested he asked a solicitor to help him get to see the baby; it was his solicitor who recommended mediation.
In mediation, we helped the little girl’s parents to communicate.
He was able to tell her that he had not received the text message and that the first that he had known of their daughter’s birth, was her relative shouting at him in the street. He said that not knowing about her birth and finding out about it like this had made him feel unloved and excluded by his ex-partner.
Learning that he had not received the text message, and that when he found out about the birth, he had attempted to see her and their daughter in hospital, helped her to realise that her ex partner was committed to their daughter.
She said that she wanted the little girl’s father to play an active part in her life. The following day, for the first time, the father met his daughter, with his ex partner, at a local park.
Over the next six months new contact venues were added and, as the little girl got to know her Dad, they were able to wander off together, out of Mum’s sight, for longer periods.
As for today, the little girl looks forward to going to see the cows with her dad, and her Mum gets to read a magazine and put her feet up for a while.
Andrew and Nia
Andrew and Nia had separated shortly before coming to mediation. Nia had remained in their family home with their three children. Andrew was living in bedsit accommodation. In the year prior to their separation they had incurred a number of debts and this had partly led to a breakdown in their relationship. Both were now worried about their financial future and concerned about how they could maintain the mortgage on their home.
Although Andrew and Nia had agreed to these arrangements prior to mediation, Andrew was finding it difficult to see the children back at his bedsit. Andrew was anxious to move into better accommodation.
In mediation we were able to examine in detail their financial circumstances, and discuss the steps which they could take to reduce their expenditure and manage their debts. It was important for the couple to work together, and as a result they were able to make enquiries about alternative ways of reducing their mortgage repayments and debts. They were both able to manage their short-term difficulties, and also plan for the future without affecting their relationship with the children. They made arrangements which would enable Nia to remain in their family home with their children until they had left school.
Those arrangements were later incorporated into a Court Order made in their subsequent Divorce proceedings. Andrew has since moved into a flat of his own where he is happily able to look after his children.